A Day in the Life of a Female Timelord

When the new Doctor was announced last week, the internet went crazy. I saw a lot of comments on both sides of the street, although I don’t think either opinion has any weight.¬†Chris Chibnall wanted¬†Jodie Whittaker to play the part, and that’s what we’re gonna get.

Personally, I’m thrilled. Not because she’s female, but because she’s a great actor. She was wonderful in Broadchurch, another Chris Chibnall project – so I think we can look forward to another great partnership when Peter Capaldi’s Doctor regenerates in 2018.

Now I have to tell you about my own experiences as a Timelord. Yes, you read that right, I also became a Timelord several weeks ago. After receiving that honor, I realized there are responsibilities that come with it. Chromie is adorable and all, but people might sometimes forget that she’s actually a dragon.

There I was, wandering around Dalaran, and the next thing I know – Khadgar is friggin’ yelling at me to climb up his godforsaken stairway to talk again. Thank goodness I got my flightmaster’s license or I’d have worked my legs to the bone. (get it? I’m forsaken.)

So yeah, I go see Khad, and he tells me that Chromie needs to talk to me about dying or something. And I’m all like, “Yeah, so what, I die all the time. Tell her to run back to her corpse already!” But he insists, so I take the portal to Wyrmrest temple.

I stopped off at Venomspite (picture above) to talk to my scientists. They’re always working on something. I grabbed some supplies, and then I realized they’re still level 75 poisons and flasks. Useless. They said something about not having the right “mats,” but I’m not buyin’ it.

Returning to Wyrmrest Temple, I went to meet with Chromie. She explained her situation. Apparently, something went whacko in time, and I was supposed to travel around with her to figure out who was trying to KILL HER. Oh, that doesn’t sound dangerous.

I’m not known for my wilting shyness, so I figured I’d jump right in. I said yes, and the next thing I knew I was taken forward in time, yet everything was black and white. Chromie transported us in time, but also froze us so that I could make some quick preparations. Thanks for small favors, amirite?

She brings us out of this stasis, and THEN she tells me that I have fifteen minutes to figure things out or she’s toast. FIFTEEN MINUTES?!? REALLY?!??! Y’know, I used to like Chromie, now… not so much.

Of course I didn’t save her in fifteen minutes, because there were literally hundreds of mobs to kill, with a mini-boss at four locations after all the trash. She literally had no idea what timey-wimey meant.

After trying this several times, Chromie let me in on a little secret. I had been choosing stuff for her to do every day or so, and each time it was finished being researched, she AND I became a little more powerful. Ten days later, she’d learned all she could, and we were BUFF. I was pulling groups of enemies and ploughing through them like they were made of tissue paper.

Down side? Fifteen minutes was still unattainable. Because what the little gnome hadn’t told me… after the four places around us were cleared, we had to clear four places OUTSIDE of Dragonblight. She’s the worst, right?

We had to travel to Stratholme, Hyjal, The Well of Eternity, and Andorhal. So demanding. To make things worse, they had to be fixed in that same fifteen minutes. EIGHT locations in FIFTEEN minutes.

Dude. Just die and keep me out of it. *sigh*

Now I know how Forsaken got a bad rep. We’re pretty impatient. I’m one of the good guys, so yeah, I went along with this plan of hers, and tried to clear all eight areas in fifteen minutes. After a LOT of attempts, I finally got all eight cleared. Chromie told me to go “back to the present,” and lo and behold, there was a portal that would do just that.

I ran through the portal and there I was, back in the present day. As I expected, Chromie had a “completed quest” question mark waiting for me, so I talked to her. I got an achievement (shown above), and a “reward”.

The gift she gave me was the illusion of an armor set. Yes, not actual future quality armor, but the ability to look as if I’m wearing armor from the future. But wait, there’s more! It looked familiar, so I checked… it was just RECOLORED armor from THE PAST! wtf Chromie!?!

Okay, so I’m a female Timelord, but the lesson I learned? Never trust a dragon that disguises itself as a gnome. I’ve been working for her for ten years now, and she’s still giving me crap.